Stephen Ministry

Updated
April 7, 2006

Caregiver learns from care receiver

By Carolyn Hudnell
Special to The Chimes

When I first considered being a Stephen Minister I doubted my qualifications.

Need a Stephen Minister?

Are you in need of a Stephen Minister? Contact Mary Rogers-Ellsworth at the church, 373-4242, Ext. 15.

The call will be kept in strict confidence.

Are you being called?

Stephen Ministry is not for everyone, but if you think the Lord is calling you to this ministry, contact Mary Rogers-Ellsworth to find out what's involved.

Stephen Ministers go through hours of training to prepare them to help others. It's a tremendously rewarding experience.

I had no training in counseling, psychology or in being a caregiver. I soon found out what mattered was learning to be a good listener, praying and helping the care receiver to rely on Jesus for healing or guidance. Another big surprise was how much Stephen Ministry training and relationships helped me to grow spiritually.

I've been seeing my current care receiver for at least an hour almost every week for the past year and praying for her daily.

I don't know who is getting the most out of the relationship. I do know I enjoy listening to an update on her past week and concerns, but she is also willing to listen to mine.

She already was a spiritual person who has a deep, personal relationship with the Lord, seeking His counsel daily. I would have to say she has influenced me as much as I may have her.

I've marveled how a single mother could handle two teenagers with special needs, go to school and teach as well. I've had the pleasure of watching the Lord in action, because only with His guidance and comfort could she have survived.

There's light at the end of the tunnel for some of her concerns when she graduates this coming year, but I can't imagine ending our friendship. Stephen Ministry adds to your friends, and one can never have too many spiritual friends.

Stephen Ministers set up a table of goodies in the Great Hall on Sunday to encourage members to consider going through training to become a Stephen Minister. For more photos, click here.

Stephen Ministry much more
than care receiver expected

Editor's Note: This letter was submitted by a Stephen Ministry care receiver and is being published by permission. The care receiver's name has been withheld because Stephen Ministers maintain strict confidentiality.

It would be hard to write just two paragraphs about what the Stephen Ministry has meant to me.

I wasn't sure what to expect when the idea was first suggested, but I knew that I desperately needed the kind of help this ministry offered. The Stephen Ministry has turned out to be so much more than what I expected.

It is more than someone to talk to. It is someone to share life with: life's hardships and victories, spiritual growth and doubt, and the need all humans have for unconditional friendship.

My caregiver has become the kind of friend Jesus would want all of us to be. I have learned to grow in faith — even when I doubted what that faith was. I have learned to grow as a friend — more than what I ever thought possible.

For a single mother with two teenagers, the Stephen Ministry has come to be what I call my “sanity keeper." It has provided adult conversation and companionship all based in a Christian love and comfort that provides a haven for me from all of the world's cares and worries.

It has also provided a model for me so that I can become the kind of friend I have found through the Stephen Ministry.

First Presbyterian Church's first Alpha Course is coming to a close with a celebration dinner at 5:30 p.m. Dec. 1.

Those interested in participating in the next Alpha Course, which begins in January, are invited to attend this celebration dinner.
Dinner will begin at 5:30 p.m., and participants will then gather in the Parlor for the first Alpha video.

Alpha is 10-week course in basic Christianity. Each evening begins with a dinner, followed by a video lesson taught by Nicky Gumbel, an Anglican minister. After the video, participants break in to small groups to discuss the lesson. There will be no small-group discussion the evening of the celebration dinner, though.

If you are interested in participating in the next course, please attend this dinner. There's no commitment, and you'll get a chance to hear from those who have completed the course.

Stephen ministers give
gift of time to others

By Jami Wilmarth
Special to The Chimes

It's Christmas time, and naturally our thoughts turn to giving.

We will wrap presents for family and friends and pluck an angel from the Angel Tree, fulfilling the wish of a needy child. In this season of giving, though, there is a way you can give so much more than just trinkets and bobbles.

As Christ's hands on earth, you can show His love by becoming a Stephen minister, sharing your time with Christians in need.God is all about giving. He gave his only Son so that whosoever believed in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. Jesus commands that we love God and love our neighbors as ourselves.

Stephen Ministry gives you the chance to fulfill that instruction in a tangible way. God has also given each Christian the gift of the Holy Spirit, who serves as our counselor, comforter and guide. Yet God also has given us a gift we sometimes overlook or take for granted: each other.

God knew in His wisdom that life would be hard and painful. He even knew that we would sometimes cause each other the pain and heartache. But He also knew that with other people in our lives, we would experience more joy, more beauty, more sharing, more giving and more healing.

He knew that ultimately, through living in this world with one another, we would grow more and more in His likeness. We can give of ourselves in an endless number of ways, and in doing so, we serve as the Lord's disciples.

God has given each of us special gifts and talents with which to minister to one another. Stephen Ministry is one such ministry in which Christians give special care and love to other Christians in need.Oftentimes, those needs arise during life's crises, such as illness, death, divorce and major life changes even positive ones.

I urge you to prayerfully consider this Christmas season whether Stephen Ministry might be your calling. It is a rewarding ministry in which you will bless others and be blessed, as well. Shortly after the holidays, FPC will begin training new Stephen Ministers for the coming year. Be ready to step forward if you find the Lord tugging at your heart.

Stephen ministers offer ‘cool drink of water'

I remember it well: I was about 4 or 5 years old, when my mother and the neighbor lady, “Shatzie," used to get together a few mornings a week to “drink coffee" together.

I was too young to remember what they talked about. In fact, I was really indifferent to the whole situation, but I remember thinking, “My mother is alone all day, and this lady from next door is a stranger in a strange land. They are lucky they have each other!" As I look back, I see that what mother and her new friend poured for each other each weekday was not just a cup of coffee — they offered each other a “cup of cool water."

Now I am a middle-aged man and I sometimes (OK, a lot of the time) long for the simplicity of my youth. How wonderful it was to have someone available to help with every problem that arose. I have a feeling that's what mother and Shatzie were doing — they were finding the time and energy to develop a caring relationship.

That's what Stephen Ministry represents today — caring relationships that are Christ-centered. Our world is certainly more complex that it was forty plus years ago. No longer do many of us have the time and energy to set aside for another person's needs. But the need for caring is timeless. Stephen Ministry is just that, a group of people who have committed themselves to that cause, spending one-on-one time with someone in need.

I have been involved in this ministry since its onset in this church. Now, I serve as a Stephen minister, as well as a Stephen leader.
I will always remember my first visit with a care receiver. Although we had been thoroughly trained in the development and the methods of a caring relationship, the human element of fear and possibility is failure were very present. Never have I prayed for Christ's direction as much as I did the day I first met my care receiver.

My prayers were answered, as they were many times afterward. I, by myself, could no more solve this man's problems that I could order world peace, but by listening and caring and offering personal reflection, I began to see healing. There is truly the presence of the Lord in this ministry. We are called not to offer solutions — simply to care for one another. Believe me, it works.

As a Stephen Leader, I have sat through innumerable supervision meetings, listening as a Stephen Minister shared their caring experiences. (No two have been alike, surprisingly.) I have witnessed the frustration of long, tedious visits, when there seemed to be no light on the horizon, and then suddenly dawn comes. It is a powerful thing to see the impact of real caring! Life does and will continue to change. Forty years ago, people had time for “coffee" with each other. Today we don't.

Right now, Stephen Ministry is our “coffee break" for this congregation and our community. Let's all celebrate this gift to our congregation and take advantage of this Christ-centered ministry. Thank God for this cup of water He has offered us.

— A Stephen Minister

Some of First Presbyterian Church's Stephen Ministers include: Dan Neely, back row from left, Harvey Hopps, George Cason and Harold Dalbom. E.A. Vermillion, front row from left, Louise Wheir, Carol Whipple, Mary Cameron and Sarah Kendall also stand ready to offer care to those who need a helping hand.

Over 1 million served

Stephen Ministry began with a few who cared

In 1974, Kenneth C. Haugk, a clinical psychologist fresh out of seminary, became pastor of St. Stephen's Lutheran Church in St. Louis, Mo.

His strengths and heart were in caregiving ministry, and he was looking forward to making a positive impact on his congregation and community by providing pastoral care to those experiencing divorce, grief, hospitalization, discouragement and other life difficulties.

It wasn't long, however, before he realized that the needs for care were greater than he alone could meet. He saw people “slipping through the cracks" because their urgent needs were going unmet. In November of that year, he recognized that one of his roles as pastor was to equip members of his congregation to use their gifts in lay ministry.

In the following months, he recruited nine lay people with the gifts and heart to do caring ministry. Using his backgrounds of theology and psychology, he developed a training program in Christian caregiving.

By March 1975, the nine were commissioned as “Stephen Ministers." Their first care receivers included a widower, a blind person, a young woman with cancer, a truck driver forced to retire early and an inactive member struggling with faith issues.

The impact was immediate. People began receiving the focused Christian care they needed. Fewer people were slipping through the cracks, and Haugk found he had more time to perform his other pastoral duties. The Stephen Ministers were surprised by the spiritual growth they encountered as they saw God working through them to bring love and healing to others.

The story would have ended there had not two of the Stephen Ministers cornered Haugk after worship a couple of months into their ministry.

“This is good stuff," they told him. “We're not going to let you go home this morning until you promise to bring this ministry to other churches!"

In November 1975, Haugk and his wife, Joan, founded the not-for-profit Stephen Ministries organization and began bringing Stephen Ministry to other congregations.

It spread like wildfire. First Presbyterian is one of more than 7,000 congregations from more than 90 Christian denominations that now has Stephen Ministry. More than a quarter million people have been trained as Stephen Ministers, a number that grows by tens of thousands each year.

More than a million people across the United States, Canada and the world have been touched by God's love through a Stephen Minister. And that is the mark of God's doing, because finally the story of Stephen Ministry is a million stories and more of caring ministry.
FPC's Stephen Ministers would like to express appreciation for the opportunity to see God at work, in their lives and in the lives to whom they bring “distinctively Christian care."

But there's more that can be done, and that's where you are needed!

If the Lord has given you the gifts and heart to do caring ministry, please pray about your participation. If you have questions, contact Mary Rogers-Ellsworth or any Stephen Minister. Applications are available in Jean Edwards' office.

You may have what it takes
to be a Stephen Minister

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
— Galatians 6:2

"I can't be a Stephen minister!"

Maybe you haven't said this aloud in a crowd, but you may have at least thought it. Anytime some new challenge shows up, the "I can't" phrase is bound to be nearby.

By now you probably have heard about Stephen Ministry and even realized that you have the gifts, the commitment and the desire necessary. Maybe you've even felt God's tap on your shoulder. But you still aren't sure.

Why? Perhaps these excuses sound familiar:

Are you a caring person who is willing to learn, grow and serve? Are you able to keep confidences? Can you commit to training, ministry and supervision?

If you answer "yes" to these questions, Stephen leaders will equip you with the rest of what you need: training, support, encouragement, care and prayers. They will make sure you succeed as a Stephen minister.

Stephen Ministry training is practical and thorough. It includes listening, dealing with feelings, assertiveness, confidentiality, maintaining boundaries, how to begin and end a caring relationship, and how to care for people who are grieving, dying, aging, divorcing and experiencing any number of life's transitions.

Through reading, lecture, questions and answers, and skill practice, you will learn what you need to know to succeed as a Stephen minister. After being assigned a care receiver, Stephen ministers still participate in continuing education and supervision support groups. You never will be left alone to handle someone else's difficulties.

Besides, God always provides the resources to carry out what He has called us to do.

Some problems are so big that you need to address your own needs and wait until later to be a Stephen minister.

After you have worked through your problems, however, your experience of finding God's help and care in your struggles is some of the best preparation you'll ever receive. Stephen ministers are not problem solvers; they are problem bearers. God solves the problems. A Stephen minister's job is to walk beside another person as that person works through his or her own struggles. The Stephen minister brings stability, prayer and Christ's love to the care receiver's situation.

True. Time is a precious commodity for most of us. As a matter of fact, time is so precious that it only makes sense to use it on activities that make a real difference — in others' lives as well as in our own lives. When you make a commitment to be a Stephen minister, you will find the hours you need to devote to it.

Stephen Ministry becomes a priority among the many activities you're involved in. The time investment is significant, but so is the contribution you will be making to building God's kingdom. If you are interested in becoming a Stephen minister, please contact Mary Rogers-Ellsworth at the church office. Applications are now available and interviews will begin soon. Stephen Ministry needs you.

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